I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
