Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
