Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
