Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize