week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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