Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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