we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
