Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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