Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
