If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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