So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
