and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
