don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
