it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
