Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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