i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
