We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
