I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
