he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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