I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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