Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need water and some morals
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
