i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
