I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
