If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize