it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
