were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
