You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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