My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
