Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I want her autograph on my taint
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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