and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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