I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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