We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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