i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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