Small penises have feelings too.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
