Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
