i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
where are you?
Hypothermia
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
