I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i dont even know how to be here
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
