You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
