OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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