Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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