The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
