so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
