I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize