they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
