Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
