But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We are all done wearing pants today
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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