Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
