im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Randomize
