i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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