Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
