Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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