Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
