Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
