KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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