I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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